Someplace Else

Poetry, Stories and Thoughts
  • About Me
RSS

Archives

  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • April 2010
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009

Recent Comments

  • Paul Watkins on A letter to president Barack Obama
  • neville on Poetry prompts, and keeping a journal
  • Neville on Speech Dictation Software
  • Michael Landau on Speech Dictation Software
  • Neville on Speech Dictation Software
Dragon NaturallySpeaking 12 Home is the fast, fun, and easy way to interact with your PC by voice.
May10

Jon Stewart, the insult game, and the decline of American comedy

by Michael Landau on May 10, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Posted In: Thoughts

It seems like recently Jon Stewart’s jokes are really just insults. Recently, he said on Twitter that Donald Trump’s birth name is F**kface Von Clownstick. What’s funny about that? To me it seems like it’s nothing more than an insult. Mostly all comedians do today is insult people. They think there is something inherently funny about vulgarity. I really don’t understand what’s wrong with people today. In the past, comedians were actually funny. Now most of them just use the F word instead of making an actual joke. I don’t think there’s anything funny about the F word, and I think that Jon Stewart’s increased use of the F word really shows that he is losing his touch. I don’t think he is very funny anymore. His comedy has really been slipping recently.

I know that very few people like Donald Trump, but I think that Stewart uses Trump as a punching bag because he knows that Trump is a humorless curmudgeon who has no ability to fight back. I really think that Jon Stewart has become a bully who just picks on people that he knows are not going to be able to come back with anything.

I also don’t like the fact that just because Trump mentioned that Stewart’s real name is Jonathan Leibowitz that some people claimed he was being anti-Semitic. I think that’s a ridiculous charge. After all that is his real name. Why should mentioning his real name be considered anti-Semitic? I am a Jew, and frankly I agree with Trump that Jews who change their last name so that it sounds more Christian are trying to in some sense deny their heritage. The reason why Jewish comedians change their names is because they don’t think they can be successful with their Jewish names. While that might be true, I think that’s not a very good reason to change one’s name. Stewart said he changed his name because he has a complicated relationship with his father. However, lots of people have complicated relationships with their father. They don’t all change their name just because they have a problem with their father. If the reason why he changed his name had to do with the problem with his father, why didn’t he just choose another Jewish name? I think people should be proud of their heritage. Claiming anti-Semitism when someone calls them on it is ridiculous. Sometimes I feel that the only reason why Jon Stewart claims his Jewish heritage at all is so his supporters can claim anti-Semitism when he gets attacked. I would like to point out that just attacking someone who happens to be Jewish is not anti-Semitism. In order for it to be anti-Semitism, the attack must be directly linked somehow to the fact that he is Jewish. I didn’t see that in what Donald Trump wrote about Stewart. If someone else did, then please feel free to leave a comment.

I understand that many people like to play the insult game. I know that I have been guilty of playing the insult game myself. I wish Donald Trump had been able to come back with a funny insult. That is usually how the insult game is played. The goal is to come back with a funnier put down than your opponent. I wonder how Stewart would have responded if Trump had come back with something like “Jon Stewart’s birth name is really “Shmuck Face Von Halfwits.” I wonder how Stewart would have responded to that. In other words, if Donald Trump had responded in kind, I think next time Jon Stewart would think twice about throwing insults at Donald Trump. I know that’s not nice, but sometimes you have to give someone right back what they give you in order to make them think twice about their behavior. Maybe if Donald Trump got someone to work with him on his comebacks, Jon Stewart might get a big surprise the next time he plays the insult game with Donald Trump.

Maybe Trump feels that doing so would be to stoop to Jon Stewart’s level, but I think sometimes a good comeback is the only way to stop a bully. I think that’s what Jon Stewart is, a bully!

I want to make clear that I don’t like Donald Trump, and I don’t support Donald Trump, but I don’t think anyone deserves to be insulted no matter how mean and nasty that person may be. I realize now that I may be contradicting myself, but I don’t think I am. Either you understand what I’m talking about, or you don’t. Probably most of you don’t.

└ Tags: American comedy, Anti-Semitism, Donald Trump, Jon Stewart, vulgarity
 Comment 
May10

Wake up America!

by Michael Landau on May 10, 2013 at 12:48 am
Posted In: Poetry

Two young men
With two small bombs
Brought Boston to its knees
Put an army on our streets
Locked down a city for a week

In such attacks
Around the world
Hundreds of people die

Two men
Killed three people
And made our nation cry

The papers said
Bostonians are resilient
They are brave and tough
Don’t mess with Boston!
They’ve got the right stuff!

Wake up America!
9/11 was only the beginning!
Next year they’ll send professionals with nuclear bombs!
The worst is yet to come!

© 2013 Michael Ethan Landau all rights reserved

└ Tags: poetry
 Comment 
May02

It’s time for the people who are against gun violence to take a stand!

by Michael Landau on May 2, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Posted In: Thoughts

A minority in the U.S. Senate recently voted to block can reform. These senators decided to ignore the majority of the American people because they were paid off by the NRA. I think that this is absolutely ridiculous, and we need to take the stand, and do something about it. For too long, the people who have been in favor of stronger gun laws have sat idly by while the gun owners have passionately organized a very effective campaign against common sense laws that would have saved lives. It’s time for the people who are in favor of gun control to become just as passionate, and organized as the NRA is today.

The people in the NRA believe that any law that is not 100% effective against preventing violence is not worth having. This is absolutely ridiculous. No law is 100% effective against preventing violence. If we were to take their logic to the extreme, why have any laws at all because no law can be 100% effective! There’s no question that background checks would prevent some people from being killed. Even if that would only be a small number, it would still be worth it to have them.

There is evidence from all over the world than in countries that have strict gun laws there is less violence involving guns. For example, since Australia imposed strict gun laws there has not been a single massacre in that country involving guns. Before such laws were passed there were quite a few such massacres. This should demonstrate that stricter gun laws are effective in preventing violence.

The Australians are perfectly happy living without these guns. There’s absolutely no reason why Americans can’t be happy without them. There are plenty of other things to do in life other than shooting a gun. Now many Americans seem to have this idea that in order to be free it is necessary to be able to do absolutely everything. This is absolutely crazy! Why is it necessary to be able to do absolutely everything in order to be happy? The majority of the people in the rest of the world are perfectly happy not owning guns, so there’s absolutely no reason why Americans cannot live with that state of affairs. Guns should only be in the hands of trained professionals who know how to use them safely and effectively.

Then there are the crazy people who think that if they don’t own guns, the government is going to lock them up, and take away their freedoms. First of all, there is no credible evidence that I’ve seen that the government has any plans to do this. There are conspiracy theories out there, but I’ve seen no evidence that any of it is true. Any lunatic can make the video claiming anything he wants to claim, that doesn’t make it true!

Second, if the government wanted to declare martial law, handguns and rifles would be useless anyway against the superior technology possessed by the government. As I’m sure everyone is aware the government has tanks, and air force, and drones. Even automatic weapons would be no match for the type of high technology possessed by the government, so the argument that possessing these weapons is projecting our security is absolutely ridiculous. The only thing that happens when citizens possess these types of weapons is that innocent people get killed. How many more people will end up dying before Americans come to their senses, and finally take some common sense actions to make our society a safer place? Based upon the recent actions of the United States Senate, I guess a lot more people will end up being killed before sensible gun laws are passed.

It’s time to demand a plan to reduce gun violence. Please click on the link below and check out The Mayors Against Illegal Guns website.

http://www.demandaction.org/Receipt?akid=658.1198059.9xl3-b&rd=1&t=4

└ Tags: gun control, Gun violence
 Comment 
Apr27

Poetry published on personal blogs counts as being published

by Michael Landau on April 27, 2013 at 3:28 am
Posted In: Poetry

Recently, I wrote to the Writers Digest competition to ask if a poem on my personal blog counts as published. Here is the reply.

“Anything that is online anywhere (blog, online literary journal, non-password protected message board, contest site) counts as published.”

This is the standard position of all contests, and poetry journals throughout the United States. I think it is ridiculous. First of all, unless you’re famous, most blogs gives very little traffic unless they are

search engine optimized, and most poets don’t know how to do this. At least I don’t think they do. Second, I honestly believe that most people who read my poetry on this blog probably would not have access to a poetry book that I published in my hometown. My readers are are from around the world. I get many visitors from China, and Russia, and numerous other countries. How would these people have access to a small poetry journal published in the US? I honestly don’t think they would, although maybe I’m wrong.

Third, publishing on a blog is qualitatively different from publishing in print. I can make numerous revisions to my poetry on my blog. It is definitely a work in progress. When you publish something in print, it is fixed, and unchangeable. I think it is unfair to say that if I publish a rough draft on my blog that counts the same as a final publication in print. Anything on a blog should be considered a work in progress since it can always be changed. I can even unpublish it if I want to do so. I certainly can’t make a print publication disappear! For me, publishing means creating a fixed and unalterable final version. That’s almost never the case with a piece that’s been published on a personal blog.

Fourth, the poetry establishment has a double standard. I’ll never be considered a published poet if I don’t get a poem published in a poetry magazine, however, they consider my poems on this blog to be published for the purposes of their journals, and contests. I feel it’s an incredibly unfair that there is a negative sense of being published, and a positive sense of being published. I’m not considered a published author as far as the poetry establishment is concerned, but the majority of my poems are not eligible for publication because they’ve already been published on the Internet. If they’ve already been published on the Internet, then I’m a published poet! Of course they don’t consider me to be published because I haven’t been published in one of their journals, but many more people have read my poems on this blog than would ever have read them had they been published in some little poetry magazine with a tiny circulation! In that sense, I’m much more of a published poet than the fancy poets will get published in the magazines, and win the poetry contests! I believe my poems have been read by many more people in many more countries around the world on this blog than many of the published poets that are supported by the traditional poetry establishment!

So basically, I have a choice to make do I want to be considered a real published poet, or do I want to reach the widest possible audience, and share my poetry with the world? I have been struggling with this question. My answer may change, but at the current moment I believe that I would much rather share my poetry with you, and with the rest of the world then spend hundreds of dollars on reader fees, only to be rejected countless times just so maybe one day I can get a poem published in the real poetry journal so I can say, “Yes yes yes, I am a real published poet.”

I am a published poet, and I am a published author because you’re reading this right now, and it’s published, and I am the author. The poetry establishment doesn’t want to recognize me as a real poet, well that’s their problem, not mine. Let them continue to turn up their nose at me! I may not be a real published poet, but far more people have read my work on this blog than most of the so-called real poets who get published in the print journals, and win the contests! Maybe I’ll keep trying to become a real published poet, I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet, but I certainly find the position of the poetry establishment to be practically medieval, and certainly behind the times. What really makes me upset is that I bet that most people cheat and published pieces that have already been on their personal blogs so all this stupid rule really does is penalize the few honest people will have chosen to abide by it. I believe it would be almost impossible to find a poem published on a personal blog unless for some reason it ranks very high on Google, and I don’t know why it would unless the author spent a lot of time doing search engine optimization which as I said before, I do not believe many poets would do. In any case, I would be interested in your thoughts on this issue. What do you think I should do?

└ Tags: poetry, poetry contests
 Comment 
Apr23

Nude Men Clock

by Michael Landau on April 23, 2013 at 3:24 am
Posted In: Uncategorized

Someone sent this link to my friend. It is a link to a silly clock composed of nude  men

The Nude Men Clock

Be sure to click on the clock to make it digital. It’s actually the correct time even counting the seconds !!!

What kind of computer engineer mind thinks of these things ? Yipes !!

THE NUDE MEN CLOCK – A MUST SEE FOR YOURSELF

And it is NOT X-rated.

This is a masterpiece!!! This is extremely clever and it does actually work,

in BOTH formats!!!! Digital and Analog. And it’s actually on YOUR correct time.

 

This human clock is fantastic.

http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html

Sorry, I know this site supposed to be about poetry and stories, but sometimes something silly like this comes along, and then I post it because I can’t think of anything to write about at the moment. I feel a little embarrassed about this post. if anyone feels it’s not appropriate for the blog please let me know.  I was about to delete it ,and then I thought, what the hell, I kind of like it, so I think I’ll let it stay here for a while.

 Comment 
  • Page 1 of 39
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • »
  • Last »

Twitter Updates

  • Just did #Dailybreak's Bicycle Challenge & entered to win a $300 Visa card without breaking a sweat! dbrk.it/12di1 2 days ago
  • I just read sc102.infusionsoft.com/app/hostedEmai… 2 days ago
  • Join the 2,000,000 who have seen Thalita smile! causes.com/thalita?recrui… via @causes 2 days ago
  • Allow DNA Testing for Kirstin Blaise Lobato change.org/petitions/allo… via @change 3 days ago
  • David Foster makes videos packed with useful information for Internet marketers. Particularly if you are... fb.me/21swLpJ55 3 days ago
Follow @michellandau

©2009-2013 Someplace Else | Powered by WordPress with Easel | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑